Funny Shakespeare Quotes

"Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne!" - Antony and Cleopatra, Act II, Scene VII

"I wish you all joy of the worm." - Antony and Cleopatra, Act V, Scene II

"Sweetest nut hath sourest rind; Such a nut is Rosalind" - As You Like It, Act III, Scene II

"If manhood, good manhood, be not forgotten upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring (a herring which has spawned)" - Falstaff, in King Henry IV, Act II, Scene IV

"There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat." - Falstaff, in King Henry IV, Act II, Scene IV

"I must to the barber's, monsieur; for methinks, I am marvellous hairy about the face: and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch." - Bottom, in A Midsummer's Night's Dream, Act IV, Scene I

"Mine eyes smell onions" - Lafeu, in All's Well that Ends Well, Act V, Scene III

"It is like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks, the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock." - Clown, in All's Well that Ends Well, Act III, Scene II (In response to whether his answer would fit all questions)

"Ha! Art thou Bedlam? Dost thou thirst base Trojan, to have me fold up Parca's fatal web? Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of leek." - Pistol, in King Henry V, Act V, Scene I

For various reasons there are not so many funny Shakespeare facts that resonate with modern ears as there are famous Shakespeare love quotes - read why on our main Shakespeare quotes page. And for fun and fascinating facts on Shakespeare's works see the pages on his plays and sonnets - we've even provided a full list of Shakespeare sonnets - all 154 of then - with links to the text of each, just some of the fun and educational resources here at William Shakespeare facts.


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